Selling Flasehoods: ‘Perfect’ Dog Ownership & Online Dog Training
Last month I wrote a blog post about one of my most recent training fluff ups- not one of my proudest moments, and yet something to learn from. I have never been one to feel afraid to post myself as the ‘work in progress’ that I am, knowing that, actually, it is my job to make mistakes, learn from them, and figure them out, so that I can better help the people (and dogs) around me.
This, however, doesn’t seem to be the general consensus I see both online and in person. I want to look at both of these ways of communicating with each other and lay out what I am seeing with both, because although similar, they aren’t exactly the same. In person, I have seen the same thing over and over; owners who think they aren’t doing enough, aren’t perfect enough and who believe their dog ‘deserves better’. I cannot tell you the number of clients I have had to politely interrupt and gently course-correct; if I am there, helping, they are doing the most that a single pet guardian can do. One client and I made a pact that they weren’t going to go on social media because this image of the ‘perfect dog’ was ruining all the fun they were actually having with their pet. I now avoid telling people I meet that I train dogs now, for the simple reason that they then become so aware of their dog’s every move, that there is this silent expectation that I expect their dog to be the perfect robot dogs that dominate the platform. This couldn't be further from the truth.
Online, I have watched dog trainers sell the idea of a perfectly behaved dog in, what seems to any trainer who leads with their morality, a quick and rather ugly grab for cash. The only difference between the dog trainers who show you when they mess up and those who don’t is that the first is willing to show it. We all have learning days, but only one group sells you the falsehood of perfect pet ownership. I think fear of judgment is a huge factor in this; all platforms are rife with videos of trainers critiquing other trainers, and critique has its place, but ‘mob mentality’ is never something I will get behind. Many trainers seem to post solely to impress their peers in the field, a desperate reaching out of the hand for a comment section filled with the trainers, or dog training enthusiasts crying ‘here, here’, rather than to connect with their prospective clients. And I know this because I tried it. I think that when we do this too often, we run the sore risk of alienating the average dog owner. Selling the idea of ‘perfect’ dog ownership is something I am overall fed up with. Not only are our dogs not robots, neither are we. The standard to which we hold our dogs is becoming increasingly more anthropomorphic, and not in a good way. “Good dogs” don’t bark, “good dogs” don’t shred anything ever, not even their own toys, and “good dogs” stay in a perfect heel at all times, even when they are desperate for a wee. And if your dog can’t do that, well either you or your dog is defective, rather than the more accurate picture which is your dog, believe it or not, is a dog. The cycle continues and when dog trainers can convince you that they have a perfectly behaved dog, the guilt you feel is the perfect fuel to sell their services. I am not in the business of shaming people into obedience, I would much prefer to inspire people into action. I am not here to impress a trainer flicking through their reels, I am here to show the average dog owner they can do it. They can have a well-behaved dog, not perfect, but very well-behaved.
On the front page of my website, I state that it is not my goal to have a perfectly trained dog, because I feel that is an unrealistic standard for everyone involved. My aim is for owners to know how to handle things when their dog does do something ‘wrong’. Because they will do something ‘wrong’. As long as you are expanding your dog’s world, showing them new things, learning new tricks and exploring life with them, then they will have the chance to make a mistake. As soon as you put a pause on that exploration, mistakes will forever stop. I know which I would rather.
Ella x
